Oh the humiliation!

I hate my body. I mean I absolutley HATE it. What's new you ask? Well, rememeber that roomate I mentioned a few weeks ago? I called him Bill. When I went to the pub whilest showing cleavage? Yeah? The one who never looked at my cheast. Well, now the poor man has seen me completely naked..in all my cellulite covered, hairy, wobblyness. It turns out I didn't shut my door properly so when he knocked *squeek*...the door opened. I had just been trying on a bathing suit, taken it off and (still naked) started checking the internet for the prices of the local pool. Instead of sitting, which woud've given me some desk coverage, I was kneeling on my seat scratching the stubble of my bikini line wondering if it was long enough to wax yet. This could've looked so freaking dodgy...and I can't bring it up to explain what I was doing in case he didn't notice.

So, he said "shit" I repeatedly said "fuck!" and there goes my attempts to not swear.

I could kinda deal with it if it wasn't for the fact I had tried on a number of bikinis which made my body look...vomit worthy. So I was already feeling a deeper sense of lothing for my physique than usual.

I went swimming. Was upsettingly slow. I was happy when one woman asked my where I got my swimsuit from, I told her K-Mart. Was feeling a bit happy until it occured to me that she was pregnant..and having pregnant woment wanting to know where to buy you swimsuit might not be as good a thing as I would like.

Still, I can't do anything accept to change the past, the best I can do is try to improve this fleshy mess I 'm wearing. So, I'll keep donning the bathers and using a gym.