That special someone...

It's odd how often I get attracted to guys and think..there are so many guys, how could I possibly pick one over the other? I keep hearing that when that "special someone" comes along, that guy who is right for me, then I'll know. People often say that if you can't choose one then choose none, because you haven't found "him". I keep thinking that's nonsense.

I've fallen for a few guys in my time and never ended up with any of them. There are a few guys I like at the moment. And, although I know in the past that when I really like a guy then I have eyes for no others...when I kinda like a few I think that this time it's different. That I really do have a hard choice. That is until anouther of those really special guys come along.

It's then that I realise that what I often try to deny is the truth. Some guys out there are so special they are worth waiting for. This is probably not be the guy, but at the moment other guys fade away.

This guy would be surprised that I think so highly of him. In fact, he is someone I haven't really spoken to much except briefly today when I ran into him at Coles.

After spending two hours with another guy today, I think I will call him Sigmund (meaning: protector), I don't know what to say. Sigmund is a very nice guy. I enjoy talking to and spending time with him more than I would've expected. We could be good friends. But, I really don't think we could be more. And I've been tossing up how to treat him for weeks. At first, he came across as insensitive and callous. I wanted confirmation of my attractivness as a female and was considering whether to flirt with him simply because I didn't like him enough to worry about leading him on. Then I decided that would be bad. Next came his (messy) break up with his girlfriend. Then came my emotional breakdown..which he seems to be caring and considerate about. Then I was like, this could be ok. Now I see that I can never feel about him the way I should. The terrible thing is that people always see things the way they want to see it.

Case in point: I was leaving a party. A friend asked Sigmund to come. He looked at me..what was I supposed to say "no, don't come"? He complained about his lack of money. I was as disuasive as I could possibly be without sounding like I didn't want him to come. I was like "well..it is good to save money..." *hint*. He came, and thanked me later in the night for "convincing" him. And again today saying I gave him "puppy dog eyes". For goodness sake! No, sweetie...I didn't, and that grabbing you by the shoulders and saying "come"...that was a Claire, not me.

Moving on...maybe