And so I awaken from my slumber

I have been gone in my mind for the past month or so. Drifting. My eyes can barely cope with the light. They sting. My heart feels crumbled. My soul feels distant...as though it has decided to abandon me. I feel disconnected.

Where have I been this past month? I did not even realise I had been gone. I've been behind a door dreading the world beyond. I have vague memories of not wanting to open my bedroom door, of hearing people stiring beyond and waiting, breathless, for the silence that would herald their absence.

I think I have been going to uni, my mind is cloudy for some reason. People at uni say they havn't seen me for a while.

My flatmates have asked me where I've been...have I been home to my parents house?

I missed my brothers birthday. He came from Melbourne, my mum says she told me. She said she had only spoken to me a few days before his arrival. Yes...yes...we did speak. I can hardly remember it. I haven't seen my family for a while. I did go to their house a couple of times...they weren't home. All that was left to show I had been there were a few empty bottles of beer. But a couple of times is not a month.

My Church friends don't know where I've been. I havn't seen them properly in a few months. A few brief glimpses. My presence occassionally, but only the presence of a ghost.

I haven't posted here for almost a month either. So I havn't been on the internet.

Where have I been? Sleeping? I think I must've been. Because I really didn't realise I was gone, but I still feel vacant, empty, lost.

I am lost. How do I find a path back? How do I become part of this world?